Boogie Down, Baby

Memories of a Congested Baby...

While Shawn got ready to go out with the guys for a few beers, I laid Owen down on a blanket on the living room floor. “Gwahhh!” he cooed as he looked at me with his big, blue eyes.

What a nice night for mommy and baby to hang out! Then I placed a clear plastic tube to his nostril and began sucking out the boogies. Let the screaming commence.

Parenthood is comprised of a bunch of trial and errors – especially in those early days. When we were leaving the hospital with Owen, my thrifty aunt told me to raid the drawers of the infant station where Owen had spent his first two nights of life. We grabbed diapers, ointment, and that nasal bulb syringe we affectionately named the “boogie ball,” as if we were robbing a bank – stuffing it quickly into our hospital bag.

When we got home, our 18-pound, epileptic cat, Ruffian, took to the boogie ball as he would one of his own. It soon disappeared for months and was later found in his stash under the changing table, along with a pacifier and other baby stuff. But that was ok because we received at least three other boogie balls as gifts.

You try to keep your baby healthy and safe – especially in those early days. So I felt I was pretty strict about following my pediatrician’s advice. Keeping him away from crowds and small children, making visitors wash their hands before holding him, etc. But then life happens. When Owen was 3 ½ months old, I had to go back to work. So off to daycare he went, where he got sick on his third day.

After the puke bug cleared, came the colds. Constant colds. I expressed my concern at daycare to baby Ryan’s mom. She nodded in agreement. “I feel like Ryan’s sick every other week.”

Owen had a cold and that cold kept on going. So out came the boogie balls. Now Owen, you see, is smart. He can see the boogie ball coming a mile away and he prepares. He hunkers down and tenses up, turning away before you even put the tip to his nose. Then begins the writhing… and the screaming. By the end of the session, you have half a boogie in the tube, a red-faced baby and a bunch of cats hiding under the couch.

And let me tell you, for a baby diagnosed with low muscle tone, that boy sure can move. He arches into a backwards “c” shape to avoid the boogie ball as best as possible. He looks quite elegant when doing so, actually.

So for two weeks he was congested. Two weeks. Saline spray, boogie ball, humidifier, repeat. We were doing all we could. It was a struggle and the boogie ball was the main problem- it wasn’t working. I went to my best friend for advice- Google.

I found a community of parents fed up with the boogie ball. “You manage to get a long, gooey one into the tube,” one exasperated dad wrote. “But the second half doesn’t make it and is hanging out of his nose. And then he sucks it back in.” I was on the edge of my seat reading his story. I felt his pain.

Now I was well aware of other options… well aware, yet apprehensive. There are the electric kinds, which sound dangerous, and the manual suck kinds, which sound disgusting. But Owen couldn’t breath and he was waking up every hour.

So I went out and bought a $30 electronic boogie sucker. I never thought I’d say that. It didn’t work. The motor was so loud, he could hear it coming a mile away. Other than that, it just didn’t suck out his sticky boogies. I was dealing with a different beast entirely.

There was one thing left… the tube where you manually suck out your kid’s snot. “No!” I thought. “I am definitely not going there.”

You see, years ago, I read about the NoseFrida tube while at work. I was so disgusted that I gathered my coworkers around my computer and read them the description. They were on the verge of gagging.

“WHY?” I kept asking. “WHY!” Fast forward two years to a miserable baby who can’t sleep and, well, I thought maybe I should give it a snot… er shot.

So in one week, I ended up spending roughly $45 on boogie-sucking materials.

But do you know what? The NoseFrida works. I’m telling you, it works. Get over the idea of it. Just don’t think about it. No, you won’t inadvertently eat any boogies. Sure your baby will probably still scream his head off when you do it. But it works! And then your baby can breathe! Then you can gag as you watch the boogies wash down the drain. Success never looked so gross.